❤ Thoughts on This Website ❤

Hello (〃´𓎟`〃)! I just started making this site, so I thought I would record some of the thoughts that have been on my mind lately (a lot of which have to do with why I’m making this site to begin with).

I first stumbled upon Neocities a few years ago when it was mentioned in a design class, but at the time I really didn’t pay any attention to it. I think at that point I was very entrenched in “design” as the design industry would define it: professional, polished, perfect. So while I had made plenty of websites in the past, this is the first time I’ve made a site this personal. In a way, it feels pretty daunting since all of the design decisions that I am making when building out this site have to do with what I personally like and not with what other people would necessarily like. Although that in itself is liberating, I still feel attached to the validation from others that designers often seek in the corporate world.

And it’s exactly this weird overlap between design as a personal thing and design as a professional thing that has driven me to create this site. I’m graduating in a few weeks, and the idea of life after college has made me really have to rethink my mindset about design. Just a few years ago, I was so focused about turning my passion for design into something purely professional; I made what used to be my hobby into my career. As a result, I don’t really have any hobbies. For a while, I tried to pick up new interests, but I quickly found that it was just impossible and unenjoyable to try to force a passion in something.

That whole process made me just loop back to what I thought about design and question why I now viewed it as purely a professional thing. Around this time is also when I came across Neocities again as well as some wonderful handmade websites such as Volvox Pond, Gossip’s Web, and Special Fish. The combination of these two events really made something click in me. I realized that I really hadn’t designed for myself in a long time. While I still enjoy some aspects of “modern” design, I hadn’t taken the time to indulge myself in what I thought was interesting rather than what modern design standards dictate are interesting.

So I guess this is all just a very long way of saying that I am building this site for myself! And whether lots of people see it or very few people see it, I will be happy as long as I have this little spot on the internet. Thanks for reading and for witnessing this small part of my life (˙ᵕ˙ )♡